apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
