i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
