He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
