Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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