there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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