I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
