I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
