So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
