it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Help. Why am I so naked?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
