brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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