Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
