okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
