Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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