____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
cat food counts as protein by the way
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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