Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize