But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
there is glitter all over my balls
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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