I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize