quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
