just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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