Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We are two peas in an std pod
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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