So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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