who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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