champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Im part way to drunk.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
