Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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