i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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