Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
