of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
