it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
