So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
