Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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