It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
