I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
