I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
