I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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