did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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