i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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