these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
