Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
