I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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