I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
