On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
