I wish I could teleport
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
