I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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