Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
