is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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