Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
