He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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