I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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