FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize