so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My ass is underappreciated
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize