So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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