We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My liver just broke up with me...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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