so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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