I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
