Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
