You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize