just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
