her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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