i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
