Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
