Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
