thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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