i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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